I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize