I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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