if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
