buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Randomize
