I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
