we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
