i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
