i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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