I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
