I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
