Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
