if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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