Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
