Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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