i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
did you just send me my own nude
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
