She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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