oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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