just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Randomize
