i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
