Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
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