shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
