Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize