THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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