Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
