I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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