she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
