God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
