I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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