dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
