check it out our google latitudes are spooning
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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