Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
