i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
