After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
