so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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