I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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