Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
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