It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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