all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
