Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Couch. On fire.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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