So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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