Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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