She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
