Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
