he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
