How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
