Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We just shotgunned beers for America
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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