she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
