Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
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