I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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