This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
