Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
