dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
