I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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