do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize