Non-Jews are for practice
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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