I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
