Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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