DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
