That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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