i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
