bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
