oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
