Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
organizing the empties. That sober.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
