its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
