I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
