We're like a lot better than the average bears
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
