HIV tests are more positive than that guy
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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