Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
