brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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