So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
