East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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