The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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