He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
