am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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